


What's Happening in Hashirama Hall?

by ahintofsage



Category: Naruto
Genre: Basically everyone is in this lmao, College AU, Drugs mention, Hurt/Comfort, NSFW, Slow Burn (kinda), alcohol mention, referenced/implied self harm, slightly ooc for some
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:00:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25452784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahintofsage/pseuds/ahintofsage
Summary: Gaara was complacent with living his college life in solitude, but everything changes when he meets his new roommate Naruto Uzumaki. As he becomes integrated into a new, vibrant friend group, his entire life gets flipped on its head, but in a good way.
Relationships: Gaara/Rock Lee, Inuzuka Kiba/Kankurou, Nara Shikamaru/Temari, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 30
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

Gaara laid in his small, slightly uncomfortable twin bed. Despite it being second semester and considering he spent most of his time there, he still hadn’t gotten used to the awful mattress. He could have chosen to read in the small courtyard outside the dorms, but it was spring and there were people all around. He didn’t want any distractions as he engulfed his favorite book for what must have been the tenth time over. Since his roommate had transferred schools at the start of winter break, he had the double room to himself, and he quite liked that. It gave him refuge from the chaos that was the rest of his floor.

  
When his roommate was around, he was much more social than Gaara wanted to be, and liked to leave the door open to invite the other students to come in and say hello. Gaara did not appreciate this invasion of his privacy, but never addressed it directly. When these unwelcome visits occurred, he would simply retire to a study room in the basement where he knew he wouldn’t be bothered. Now that it was just him in the room, he felt much more comfortable, keeping his door closed and locked whenever he was there. A few times earlier in the semester, some people had knocked and inquired about his roommate, but as soon as word spread that he was no longer at the university, the visits stopped. Nobody on the floor really knew the quiet, stoic redhead, and could tell that he had little interest in befriending them, so they left him alone.

  
Gaara truly didn’t mind, it seemed like he had little in common with the others on his floor anyway. Besides, if he ever decided he wanted company, his sister Temari and brother Kankuro rented a small house on the outskirts of campus, and he knew they wouldn’t mind if he came over to visit, even if he just sat on the futon and mulled over The Bell Jar like it was scripture. Today was not one of those days. It had been a long day of classes, and he wanted to spend time alone with his good friend Plath. Attending classes always exhausted him, and whenever he went on campus, he could feel judgmental eyes on him. This wasn’t high school anymore, so it wasn’t like anyone was going to make little comments, none the less approach him to harass him about his thick, black eyeliner or sullen expression. Temari called it resting bitch face.

  
Apparently, today was not his lucky day, and his train of thought was suddenly disrupted by loud, rhythmic banging sounds coming from across the hall. Soon, he heard moaning to accompany it, and realized that his neighbors were fucking tenaciously. This was not the first time this had happened, and since he was in an especially bad mood, he decided to go out of his comfort zone and report a noise complaint to the RA.

  
“Iruka, either Naruto or Sasuke has someone over and they’re being incredibly loud. Can you go tell them to knock it off?” He sent the message, and immediately got a response.

  
“Yeah, I can hear. On it.”

  
He felt a little bit guilty, after all he knew this was just typical college behavior, even if he did not engage in it himself. He heard Iruka’s heavy footsteps walking down the hall, and heard the door across from him fly open. He started at this sound a bit, he had just expected the RA to knock and be polite, not just barge in on an intimate act. Iruka and Naruto were closer than most residents and RA’s, but this behavior was a little brash and he again felt a wave of guilt mixed with embarrassment.

  
“Iruka! I- we were just-“ He heard Naruto sputter, along with the sounds of a bed creaking as someone jumped off of it and stumbled around, presumably trying to throw on clothes.

  
“What in the hell do you think you two are doing? Sasuke and you were- Christ almighty, you know that roommate relationships are strictly forbidden by the code of conduct, right?” Iruka shouted.

  
Oh no. This situation just got much worse, and Gaara started to realize that he may have just caused a lot more trouble for his neighbors than he had anticipated. He never thought that- I mean, Naruto and Sasuke were close, but he never expected either of them to be interested in men, and regardless, the dorms had some very conservative policies on how roommates were intended to interact. They could both be kicked out of the residence hall for something like this.

  
“We knew. And we didn’t care.” Sasuke retorted matter of factly.

  
“What he means is we didn’t expect anyone to find out.” Naruto sheepishly admitted. “Like, geez Iruka, you could have knocked first”

  
“You could have been a little quieter if you didn’t want anyone to find out. Besides, this isn’t the first time a noise complaint has been made against this room. I got tired of being civil. Both of you, get decent and come see me in my room right away. Maybe you can convince me not to file a disciplinary report.” Gaara heard the door shut, and Iruka walk back to his room. He sighed a deep breath of relief after realizing he would not be checked up on and outed as the filer of this particular noise complaint. He heard the door reopen, and the two boys walking down the hall to what could be their very doom.

  
Gaara began to panic a bit. He was already known as a recluse and an outcast on the floor, and now he was a snitch too? He had convinced himself that he was alright with not becoming best friends with anyone in the dorm, but he didn’t much like the idea of being despised. It brought him back to high school again, the hated pariah with no redeeming qualities to speak of and a hot temper that got him into more than his fair share of fights. He was ready to leave that part of him in the past, but it seemed to follow him around like a dark cloud. His own bell jar fell into its place around him, and he was consumed with thoughts of self-hatred and despair.

  
After what felt like hours, he heard the familiar heavy footsteps of the RA, and a knock on his door.

  
“Gaara? It’s Iruka. I need to speak with you about something. Can you open the door please?”

  
Gaara took a deep breath, closed his book, and went to open the door. He didn’t quite know what to expect, but when an RA knocks, you’re expected to answer. He opened the door, keenly aware of his anxious, sweaty palms as he turned the knob.

  
“Yes?”

  
“Listen, I know you’ve enjoyed having your own space these past months, but you’re the only person in the dorm with a free bed, and there’s been- well, a situation.”

  
Gaara gulped, embarrassed. “I heard.”

  
Iruka blushed slightly, probably realizing that most everyone in the hall knew about the ‘situation’ at this point.

  
“Well, I’m sorry, for a lot of different reasons, but- the point is, Naruto Uzumaki needs to move into your room. I’m afraid you don’t have a lot of choice in this matter, but he promised he would be respectful of you and your space. I told him if there were any problems, he would be kicked out of the residence hall on the spot. Can you agree to those terms?”

  
“You just said I don’t have much of a choice.”

  
“Well, good. He will be moving in shortly.”

  
And like a bomb went off, a blonde ball of energy shot into his room like a pistol, and Gaara was met with a cascade of “Hi! I’m Naruto, and I’m sure by the end of the semester we are going to be best of friends!” and suddenly his hands were both gripped in a vigorous handshake. This was a lot to take in for the shy, reserved redhead who had gone from reading peacefully in his own sanctuary to being told it would be invaded by this enthusiastic, incredibly social presence. Little did he know, things were about to change for him in a big way.

  
“I’ll let you get settled in.” Gaara said bluntly, taking his book and deciding to brave the public eye to get some space from this chaos. He decided not to go to the courtyard, but instead to the soccer fields, where he could sit under the bleachers and have a little bit more privacy.


	2. Chapter 2

As Gaara approached the fields, he saw that the men’s soccer team was practicing there. It shouldn’t be an issue; he had been there at times like this before and he was never bothered. Besides, he was secretly hoping that this would be the case. He saw a flash of a jersey number darting across the field, number 11, Rock Lee. His heart jumped in his chest and he made an effort to still his breathing as he made his way to his favorite spot under the bleachers.

He remembered the first time he had ever seen Lee. It was the first day of classes in first semester. He had taken a seat in the far left corner of the class, and read silently as it filled up. He was nervous, even though he knew this university was far from his hometown and it was unlikely he would see anyone he knew from high school, but the anxiety of this possibility kept him on his toes. He hated who he was in high school, and most everyone followed suit apart from his siblings. Kankuro was on the football team and Temari was a cheerleader, and he was their socially awkward and intense younger brother. Everyone joked that he must have been adopted because he was so unlike them, even teachers and staff. He was ready to leave that identity behind, but didn’t quite know how he was supposed to craft a new one for himself.

Suddenly, a flash of green caught his eye, and in came a boy with a black bowl cut and wide, smiling eyes. Gaara watched as the man strode confidently up to the professor and took her hand.

“Good morning Professor Tsunade! My name is Rock Lee, and I am honored to be taking your introduction to biology class! I am thrilled to learn all that you have to teach us and I am well assured that this will be a splendid experience for the both of us!” He announced, as he vigorously shook her hand. He was so sure of himself and truly seemed excited, even though as he mentioned this was just an introductory class, and everyone knew Tsunade was the head of the biology department, so this was just a class she had to instruct for tenure purposes.

“Right, well take a seat, there are still some in the back.” She looked towards the back, and Gaara felt himself try to shrink down to avoid both of their gazes. There was still an empty seat next to him, and he silently pleaded that this man would choose somewhere else to sit. As he approached, though, it seemed that would not be the case.

Lee sat down beside him, and he smelled like grass and sweat. _Please don’t talk to me._ Gaara internally said, and sunk down into his book, trying to look busy. This man was intimidating, not only because he was about four inches taller than Gaara, but also because he seemed to exude coolness. Gaara was not cool, and he was becoming less and less collected the more he inhaled Lee’s natural musk. He was attractive and looked very strong, and he was looking at him, Gaara could feel it.

“Good morning, my name is Rock Lee! What is your name?”

Gaara looked at him over the top of his book and pointed to his earbuds. There was no music playing, but he always kept them in, it was a good way to keep people from talking to you. Lee did not seem swayed by this motion at all, and in fact reached to Gaara’s ear and pulled out one of his headphones. He tried not to visibly shiver as the man’s hand brushed his ear.

“I said good morning! My name is Rock Lee. I haven’t seen you before, are you a freshman?”

Gaara nodded. It was all he could do. He couldn’t form coherent thoughts, so he definitely didn’t trust his words.

“Wonderful! I remember my first day of classes last year! You must be so excited! Now, what is your name?”

“Gaara.”

“Wow, what a striking name! I am pleased to make your acquaintance, Gaara.”

Gaara tried not to gape his mouth in shock. Nobody had ever said that to him before. In fact, that might have been the nicest thing anyone had ever said about him. He had no idea how to respond. Luckily, he didn’t have to.

“Alright pipsqueaks, everyone settle down. I’ll go over the syllabus first and then we will start the lecture.” Tsunade commanded.

Gaara set down his book and got out his spiral notebook labelled ‘Biology’, and he saw Rock Lee getting prepared at his own desk. He had a laptop with the syllabus pulled up, along with a printed copy of the syllabus, a large three ring binder with filler paper, multiple highlighters, and two ballpoint pens. Throughout the lecture, he was silent with focus. Gaara tried not to be obvious as he stole glances at the man beside him, who was intensely scribbling and highlighting, he seemed to be moving at the speed of sound. He was really attractive, and he had given him a compliment. This wasn’t the type of interaction he was used to, and he felt the familiar urge to fight creep up on him, but he quickly stifled it. He wasn’t like that anymore, and he could tell that Lee wasn’t being sarcastic or mocking when he had said those things.

The lecture ended, and Lee jumped out of his seat, packing up his many belongings. As he left, he gave Gaara a quick wave and he was out the door. The rest of the semester, Lee arrived early and sat in the front of the class, but every time he walked by, he gave Gaara a big smile.

As he sat under the bleachers, the memories of that day, Lee’s voice and his scent and his presence, they flooded him like a typhoon. He had developed a huge crush on him, even having only said a word to him. In his heart though, he knew it would never be more than that. Rock Lee was captain of the soccer team and had a strong group of friends. They had chatted in class months ago, but that was it. He wouldn’t dare try to get closer than that, because he knew he would just be rejected, and that was more than his fragile composure would be able to take. The fear of rejection and what it would do to his psyche was always fresh in his head. Whenever it had happened before, it ended in one way, with bloody noses and busted lips. He did not want that to be a part of him anymore, but it seemed to lurk under the surface, like an animal inside of him always ready to defend him from any perceived slight. Even though he wanted to know more of Lee, these strong emotions would never be returned, and that could only lead to strong violence in reaction.

Still, he could watch him from afar. There was no harm in that, when Lee was focused on something, his attention never wavered, so Gaara knew he wouldn’t be caught if he wasn’t obvious about it. He observed Lee’s toned body dashing across the field through the slits in the bleachers and felt warmth well up inside of his gut. He started to daydream about what it might feel like to have that body on top of him, the green soccer uniform sliding off to reveal tanned skin and defined muscle. Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by a loud whistle, announcing that soccer practice had ended.

Gaara collected himself and tried to look engaged in his book, hoping to meld into the metal he was leaning against. He knew what was going to happen next. He heard footsteps above him as a woman ran down the bleachers towards the field.

“Lee! You looked great out there!” She giggled, and no sooner than when she met the ground she was swooped up into a big hug.

“Thank you Sakura!” Lee exclaimed, squeezing her tight and lifting her into the air for a kiss.

“Ugh, you smell disgusting, and you’re drenched in sweat, let me down already!”

Lee placed her gently on the ground and kissed her again. They took each-other’s hands as they exited the soccer complex together, chatting away as they unknowingly passed the small redhead, trying to blend in with the scenery. Yes, Lee had a girlfriend. Sakura was a beautiful woman, a pink-haired sorority member with a bright, youthful personality. Almost the polar opposite of Gaara, just another reminder that he would never have what she had. She was perfect for Lee, and he was just a pining loner with an unrequited crush on a straight man.

He waited for the rest of the players to file out, and decided on texting Temari and Kankuro to see if they wanted to get dinner before heading back to his residence hall. He was hoping if he waited until later to return that his new roommate would be out with his friends for the night, leaving him with the familiar solitude he had grown comfortable with.

**Hated Ones**

_Mar 03, 5:23 PM_

**Gaara:** Would you two be interested in getting dinner?

**Tem:** Sure thing! Come on over, I’m cooking as we speak

**Tem:** Everything okay?

 **Kankuro:** Yeah what’s the occasion?

**Gaara:** Everything is fine. I just want some space from the dorms.

 **Kankuro:** Lol Hashirama Hall is a shitshow I don’t blame you

_You have absolutely no idea._ With that thought, Gaara set out walking towards Temari and Kankuro’s house. He’d eat with his siblings, gain a sense of normalcy, and return to his room for the night where he could curl up with his book until Naruto came home, hopefully too sloshed to make conversation. Everything was going to be normal and fine.


	3. Chapter 3

“Gaara! You’re back just in time!” Naruto exclaimed, this time bounding forward to give him a hug as he entered the door. Gaara stiffened and stepped back, not even his old roommate greeted him like this. He looked around the room, now covered in posters and pictures of friends, along with a fraternity paddle and a few other similarly inspired décor items.

“Just in time for what?” Gaara inquired, not sure if he wanted to know what Naruto had planned for this evening.

“My frat is throwing a party. I asked if I could bring along my new roommate, and they said yes! They always say yes to my friends. You gotta come with me, I’ve never seen you leave your room apart from going to classes and the library, and it’s going to be a blast. It’s our big spring fling! Tons of girls will be there, and you’ll get to meet all my friends!” Naruto blabbered excitedly.

Gaara had never been invited to any parties, none the less a frat party. Sometimes he drank alone in his room on weekends, but that was the closest he got to that part of the college experience.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.” Gaara muttered hesitantly. He wasn’t interested in women, and he had no idea why Naruto thought his friends of all people would like him.

“You don’t have a choice, you’re already on the guest list and if you don’t show up it will make me look bad. Come on, it will be fun.” Naruto grinned, and turned to open his mini fridge. He pulled out a large, plastic bottle of vodka along with two Gatorade bottles. He handed one to Gaara.

He didn’t want to make Naruto look bad in front of his friends, but he wasn’t sure if showing up to this party was the solution to that. His darkly rimmed eyes drifted to the pictures of said friends hanging up on the wall. There was Sasuke, of course, and some other hall members he recognized, like Kiba Inazuka, Shikamaru Nara, Shino Aburame, and Neji Hyuga. Then, in his fraternity composite, he saw an all too familiar bowl cut. Rock Lee. Rock Lee was in Naruto’s fraternity. The Rock Lee. The very same that he had just been spying on, hidden like a mouse. Naruto shook the bottle of vodka at Gaara, awaking him from his thoughts. It seemed like now he really didn’t have a choice.

“Liquid courage, buddy. I know this isn’t exactly in your comfort zone, but there’s more to college than just classwork. Aren’t you at least a little bit curious?” Naruto questioned as he took a large swig from the bottle and chased it with the Gatorade. He grimaced slightly, then smiled wide and handed the bottle to Gaara.

“I guess I can’t turn down free alcohol.” Gaara sighed as he took his own swig. This was the worst vodka he had ever tasted in his life.

“That’s the spirit! Now put your makeup on and we’ll drink some more.”

“Makeup? I- I don’t wear makeup.”

Naruto squinted his eyes at this comment, because of how obviously untrue it was.

“I would have thought with an everyday look like that you’d go all out for a party.”

“No, I- this is just to cover the bags under my eyes. I’m not going to be putting any more on.” Gaara stuttered. It wasn’t like people didn’t point out his eye makeup before, but they never did it in such a casual way. In high school, people usually started conversations like that with ‘hey gay boy, why don’t you put on some lipstick to match your hair’. Then he remembered the loud noises from across the hall earlier in the day, and he cringed a little bit. Of course, Naruto wouldn’t be the type of person to judge someone based on whether or not they did their makeup as a man. He felt a little guilty for thinking that he would. Naruto once again handed him the bottle of vodka, and this time he took a bigger gulp, trying to erase the memories of Naruto and Sasuke from his mind as he focused on the terrible taste in his mouth. He drank some more Gatorade and handed the bottle back to Naruto.

“You know Gaara, I always wanted us to be friends, and I’m so glad that we are now. I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up, and I feel like you might know what that’s like. It really sucks. But tonight, we are going to change all of that. Consider this the first night of the rest of your life!” Naruto exclaimed, enthusiastically raising the bottle of vodka and gulping down more. Gaara again turned his head to the pictures of friends covering the wall. It didn’t seem possible that Naruto didn’t have very many friends at one point, considering he had so many now. His eye was again caught by a flash of green, and he fixed his gaze on a picture of Rock Lee and Naruto, grinning as they had their arms wrapped around each-other’s shoulders. The alcohol was starting to kick in and he felt a pulse of courage in his chest.

“So, you’re going to introduce me to all your friends then?” Gaara said tentatively.

“Yeah, of course! Do you want to start now? Come on!”

Gaara felt Naruto grip his wrist and drag him out of the room. He did not particularly want to start now, but again, it felt like he had no choice in the matter. They flew down the halls and into different rooms, Naruto eagerly introducing him to every resident and inviting them back into his room to ‘pre-game’. All the boys agreed, and soon Gaara’s once quiet, isolated room was filled with people.

“So Gaara, you’ve never been to a college party before?” Kiba asked with a smirk on his face. Gaara couldn’t tell if this was a stab at him or not.

“No.” He quietly said, a little bit embarrassed and overwhelmed with all the people in his space. It wasn’t a large room, so it was getting hot too.

“Yeah, that’s why we’ve got to make tonight awesome, don’t you guys agree?” Naruto chimed in. He gave Gaara a big smile and wrapped his arm around his shoulder, jostling him lightly. To his surprise, the other boys agreed cheerfully and lifted their drinks to toast to the moment. Gaara lifted his own drink as a slightly buzzed smirk spread across his face. He was having fun. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and everyone froze for a moment, not sure if they should hide the alcohol.

“Neji, I got your text!” shouted a muffled voice. Neji went to open the door and was greeted with a hug from a dark-haired girl, who was followed by a blonde and a brunette.

“Everyone, you know my cousin Hinata, and these are her sorority sisters, Ino and Tenten. Where’s Sakura?” Neji asked. Hinata snorted and looked at the other two girls, who giggled.

“She’s with Lee, of course.” She retorted cheerfully. “Don’t worry, we’ll catch up with them when the party starts.” The girls filed into the room, hugging the boys and chattering, until their eyes turned to Gaara.

“So, you must be Naruto’s new roommate, now that him and Sasuke have been found out.” Ino smiled slyly. Gaara gulped. He was not expecting to have girls in his room, and from his experience, they could be much more hostile than guys ever could. He just nodded. Again, Naruto took the reins.

“Ladies, this is Gaara. He’s a freshman and he likes reading and- well, um, what else Gaara?”

“I mean, that’s all really. I guess I like cacti too. I’m a horticulture major.” Gaara’s mind flashed back to a few of the questions he had answered for ‘ice breaker’ portions during syllabus week. The girls smiled at him. He tried to smile back so he would look less nervous, but it must have made him look even more timid.

“He’s cute, Naruto.” Hinata said. That was a shock. Gaara had never heard anyone use the word ‘cute’ to describe him before.

“Yeah, try not to seduce him like you did with Sasuke, or you’ll be in real trouble.” Tenten snorted, and the crowd of people laughed. Sasuke put his hand on Naruto’s thigh.

“Not a problem. Naruto and I are exclusive now.” Sasuke pointed out. He lifted Naruto’s chin to give him a short kiss, and the room was focused on them, asking all sorts of questions about their relationship. Gaara couldn’t help but notice the brief look Sasuke gave him, almost like a ‘stay away from my man’ warning. Gaara felt his temper flare a little bit with this look but suppressed it immediately. He wasn’t interested in Naruto, Sasuke had nothing to worry about. Things were going well, Gaara didn’t want to ruin it by starting a fight with his roommate’s boyfriend.

“Well, are we all ready to go?” Naruto asked, taking his lover’s hand as he started to put away the alcohol. Everyone agreed that it was time to head to the party and started evacuating the room.

As they walked through the hall, Gaara stayed behind the crowd, and suddenly a door opened revealing Iruka. He looked at his residents leaving the hall, and his eyes fixed on Gaara, a little bit surprised.

“Gaara, did all those people just come from your room? Is Naruto bothering you already?” Iruka questioned, a concerned look in his eyes. Naruto looked back, and went to meet them, as he could tell Gaara was nervous about talking to an RA when he was already slightly buzzed.

“We’re going to a party! His very first outing, it feels like Christmas! Don’t worry, Gaara’s excited to go, right Gaara?” Naruto exclaimed, putting his hand on Gaara’s shoulder and nudging him on.

“Yeah, everything is fine.” Gaara stuttered, moving past Iruka to join the group of friends. Iruka smiled at him and waved them on.

“Go on then. Be safe, call if you need anything, and Gaara, I” Iruka paused “I’m glad to see you out of your room for once.”

Gaara smirked a bit and headed out with the others. Maybe it was just the booze, but he was glad to be out of his room too. It really did feel like things were starting to change, like he was starting to change. Maybe this was what crafting a new identity was all about.


	4. Chapter 4

The party was very loud, with music blasting and tons of conversation. Gaara stood with a red solo cup in his hands, listening to the group of people around him talk and drink. He still felt like a little bit of an outsider, but as the night progressed, he could feel himself blending more and more with the group of friends. Maybe they could be his friends too. Maybe they already were

“Friends!” a voice shouted, and the group turned their attention to where it came from. Rock Lee. Gaara felt his heart jump to his throat, and he steadied himself against the bar as a wave of drunken attraction shot through his body.

“Lee! Sakura!” Ino shouted, and laughed as she gave her pink-haired friend a hug.

“My girls! Lets go dance, Lee, I’ll catch up with you later.” Sakura rejoiced as her three friends followed her to the center of the room.

“Lee, its good to see you! I’ve got someone I want you to meet” Naruto exclaimed as he gestured towards Gaara. Gaara froze and finished his drink so he could look busy by pouring himself another. He knew Lee was going to be there, but he didn’t realize how unprepared he was to interact with him. He looked at the taller man and saw his eyes light up in recognition.

“Gaara! I remember you from intro to biology with Tsunade! Come here!” He said, but didn’t wait for Gaara to approach him, and suddenly he was picking Gaara up into a huge hug. Gaara felt the blood rush to his face and ears with this unexpected embrace. Rock Lee was hugging him. This felt unreal.

“Wow, you look flushed, you must not drink very often, however I have noticed this is the case with most redheads” Lee chuckled as he rustled the shorter man’s hair. Rock Lee was touching his hair. He blushed even harder and tried to muster up a smile or a laugh or something that wasn’t totally embarrassing.

“Um,” Gaara looked towards the bar. “Do you want me to get you a drink?” He stammered, again trying to smile. He noticed a quick flash of something go across Lee’s face. Was it nervousness? That was something he wasn’t expecting to see.

“Well, I normally don’t drink.” He said, placing his hand on the back of his neck. Neji came from behind and clapped his hand on Lee’s shoulder.

“Come on Lee, one drink won’t kill you” Neji smiled, slurring his words slightly.

“Yeah!” Kiba joined from Gaara’s side, unexpectedly slapping him on the back as well. “And this is Gaara’s first party ever, it’s a special occasion, you have to drink to that!”

Rock Lee scoffed. “You both know how I get with alcohol. Besides, Sakura said-“

He was interrupted by Naruto, who had started dancing with Sasuke. “Sakura says this, Sakura says that, who gives a damn? She’s not in charge of you. I don’t like the way she’s turned you into some lap dog. The Rock Lee I know doesn’t take no for an answer! And Kiba’s right, Gaara offered you a drink and you should take it, apparently you know each other already and I bet he’d like to get to know the you that’s not taking notes and kicking balls, isn’t that right Gaara?” He looked at the redhead, who was still slightly starstruck and leaning on the bar. Lee turned to look at him too, and smiled that huge, bright smile at him.

“I suppose you are right. I’ll take one.” Lee concluded. Gaara started, and quickly got a new cup and filled it, shakily handing it to Lee. He smiled again. “To new experiences! I am very pleased I get to share this with you, Gaara!” He touched his cup to Gaara’s and they both took a gulp of the liquid. Lee grimaced slightly, but then he was back to that same goofy smile.

“Well boys, I don’t know about you, but I’m gonna go find Choji and see if we can’t go smoke a blunt. Who’s coming?” Shikamaru yawned. Gaara remembered that Shikamaru was the only one at the dorm who didn’t take any vodka, and he hadn’t gotten a drink at the party either. It suited him, he was much more laid back than the rest of the group, and hearing that he smoked weed made sense. Kiba, Shino, and Neji followed him, but Neji looked back at Rock Lee and Gaara before he left.

“Lee, I know you’re not interested, but what about you Gaara?” Neji asked. Gaara shook his head, marijuana wasn’t really his thing, and hearing that Lee wouldn’t be joining them, he felt glued to his spot. The other boys left, and it was just him and Rock Lee, standing by the bar. They did not stand in silence for long.

“So, Gaara.” Lee was already slurring his words, and he set his empty cup down on the table. His face was turning pink as well, but Gaara knew it must have been from the alcohol. “Do you like soccer? Cause I love soccer. Ever notice how soccer sounds like Sakura?” Lee laughed very loudly. “I love soccer and Sakura. Well- yeah, I do! But Sakura can be mean sometimes, you know? Why are girls like that? They always want to tell you what to do. She doesn’t think I should ever drink but like-why? It’s so fun. Are you having fun Gaara?”

“Yeah, I am having fun. Naruto and his friends are very nice. I’m just not really used to it, you know?” Gaara said, noticing his own words starting to slur as well. He wasn’t buzzed anymore, he was getting drunk, and he realized that he wanted to keep talking. “Here, your cup is empty, do you want some more?”

“Yes please!” Lee shouted, laughing as he watched Gaara fill it up, and then right as he took it drinking it all down in one chug. He wiped his mouth and laughed, placing a hand on Gaara’s shoulder. Gaara felt heat bristling up his cheeks again, and he laughed as well at the feeling.

“You’ve got beautiful eyes. They’re like swimming pools. Sometimes I go swimming in the natatorium to train my endurance for soccer. Would you like to go swimming sometime?” Lee was jumping from one topic to the next. Gaara thought about Lee in a tight speedo, water dripping off of his tan skin and hair as he climbed out of the pool. It was arousing, but then he thought of his own body, pale and slim and short next to Lee’s, and he got very embarrassed.

“I- I don’t know, I don’t really swim very well.”

“Ridiculous! I can teach you! It’s not hard, and it’s such good exercise! And exercise releases endorphins, it’s good for when you’re sad!” Lee suddenly got quiet and stepped a little closer to Gaara. “Do you ever get sad?”

Gaara didn’t know how to answer that question, especially not in his current state. Yes, he did get sad, some would even call it depressed. Images of him crying himself to sleep multiple nights in a row flooded his mind, along with an itching sensation on his wrists and forearms. He didn’t really want to talk about that right now, or think about it, so he just took a big drink and looked down.

“No, no it’s okay, I get sad too. I get sad a lot. It’s okay to get sad. I shouldn’t have even asked that, everyone gets sad, and it’s not a big deal. That’s why there are parties, to have fun!” Lee’s eyes brightened and he put a hand on Gaara’s cheek, lifting his head. Suddenly, those dark thoughts were gone, and he was back in reality. A reality in which Rock Lee was touching his face. Lee smiled at him softly, genuinely. Gaara smiled back, this time on instinct instead of forcing himself.

“You’re right. I spend a lot of time alone. I’m not used to being around this many people, it’s kind of confusing and overwhelming, but I’m having fun. I’m not sad right now.” Gaara muttered reassuringly. He noticed that Lee was still stroking his cheek, as if trying to comfort him. “You don’t have to keep doing that, I’m really fine.”

“I know, your skin is just really, really soft. You must take good care of it. Mine is all rough from the sun, see?” Lee grabbed Gaara’s hand and placed it on his cheek. It was rough, and warm, and he couldn’t believe he was actually touching him. He lowered his hand quickly, and Lee followed suit. Although he liked feeling Lee’s fingers lingering on his skin, all of this contact mixed with all of the alcohol was starting to get him really aroused, and that was not appropriate, given the time and place and person. Lee reached to get another drink, when suddenly-

“Oh my fucking god, Rock Lee I cannot believe you.” Sakura screeched. Gaara turned his head to see a fuming Sakura marching towards them.

“Sakura! You are so beautiful tonight, come here and kiss me.” Lee crooned, but Sakura lurched away from him.

“You’re drunk. You’re really fucking drunk. After all those long conversations we had, and you still don’t listen to me. You never listen to me!” She was screaming at him. Gaara felt very uncomfortable. This wasn’t the perfect couple he had seen together so many times at the soccer fields. This was an entirely new dynamic, but when he noticed the looks on her friends faces, he realized it might not be so unfamiliar.

“Come on, Sakura.” Lee hiccupped. “We’ve been fighting all week, I’m just trying to have fun, and I’m not even that drunk, I’ve only had two. You’re so pretty, just let me love you.”

“No. You know what Lee? You don’t love me. If you loved me you would respect my wishes, and time and time again you have proved to me that you don’t. You just don’t! You can have all the fun you want, I’m done with you.” She stormed off. The other girls looked at Lee with glances that said ‘sorry’, and he ran after Sakura.

“Sakura, wait, what do you mean by that? I’m sorry, it was just a few drinks, I’m really sorry, please don’t- “

Sakura turned to face him

“Fuck you with your ‘just a few drinks’. Here, have another.” Gaara’s mouth dropped to the ground as he saw Sakura take her cup and pour the entire thing onto Rock Lee’s head. She continued strutting away. Rock Lee stood in the hall in shock for a few moments, before running out of the house, it sounded like he was sobbing.

Gaara was unsure of what to do. He didn’t know Lee that well, but god that was brutal. He looked around. The other boys were still nowhere to be seen, and Sasuke was pinning Naruto up against the wall across the room. He could interrupt them and tell them what happened, but that would be awkward, they looked rather preoccupied. They might not even notice him. _I guess I have to go check on him_ , Gaara thought.


	5. Chapter 5

Gaara exited the house and looked around. He found Lee sitting on the ground against the wall, loudly sobbing into his hands. Gaara felt very uncomfortable, but it was torture to see Lee like that. He didn’t deserve that for just a few drinks, he wasn’t even doing anything. Well, except touching Gaara excessively and blabbering on about anything and everything. Still, Gaara didn’t see why that was such a bad thing, and it definitely didn’t warrant Sakura drenching him with a mixed drink.

“Hey, um, are you okay?” Gaara stammered as he moved to sit next to Lee.

Lee looked up, and tried to force a smile, tears still running down his face.

“I can’t believe Sakura dumped me like that, in front of everyone, I’m humiliated.” Lee choked out between sobs. “She used to be so nice, but then we started dating and- I don’t know what happened. All I did was love her. I don’t know what I did wrong. Why do I always do everything wrong?” He started crying uncontrollably again. Gaara didn’t know how to comfort people. He had never seen someone cry like this, so openly. If it had been him in Lee’s position, he wouldn’t have even let someone sit next to him. He recalled nights in his own home when Temari had tried to talk him down from one of his emotional breakdowns, and that had always ended in him screaming at her to get the fuck away and leave him alone. He didn’t know how Lee was not reacting in the same way. He felt like he needed to do something, so he reached out and hesitantly patted Lee on the head a few times. His hair was sticky. Lee looked up at him, and Gaara coiled back, expecting him to tell him to leave. Instead, he threw his arms around Gaara and leaned into his body, crying and wailing.

“She’s so mean to me Gaara. She’s so so mean. She doesn’t like it when I drink because she says I get annoying and emotional and- and I can’t help it, I’m always emotional. I’ve always been this way. She knew that before we started dating. Why is she so mean to me? Am I really that awful to be around? I don’t feel like I act that differently. But I mean, she tells me these things even when I’m not drunk, so maybe-maybe I’m just an insufferable loser all the time.” Lee blubbered, muffled by his head on Gaara’s shoulder. Gaara tried to pat his head again. He had to admit, he had never expected Lee to be so emotional, but it wasn’t annoying. He was a bit uncomfortable, yes, but that was mainly due to all the new situations and the want to comfort Lee. He wanted to make him feel better, he just didn’t know how.

“I think maybe she never really loved you.” Gaara whispered. Lee jolted at this and looked up at Gaara with big, sad eyes, his lower lip trembling. He felt like he had said the wrong thing, but it was what he was thinking. And maybe that would help. Maybe Lee needed to hear all the things going around in his spinning head.

“I mean, you keep saying that she’s mean to you and she gets mad at you for being emotional and ‘annoying’, I don’t think someone who loved you would do that to you. They would love you the way that you are. And I mean- you’ve got all these other friends who like you, and like being around you, and I- I like you.” Gaara tried to put his thoughts into words, but he stopped at ‘I like you’. He didn’t want to go too far. This was the first time they had talked outside of class. He had no experience comforting others and wasn’t sure if he had said the right thing, but Lee started to smile a little bit.

“You-you like me Gaara? You don’t think I’m annoying?” Lee sniffled. Gaara smiled at him.

“No, I think you’re interesting, and smart, and funny, and” He stopped himself. He was about to say cute. He couldn’t say cute. It may have been what he was thinking, but with how drunk they both were and how Lee was still crying over his lost love Sakura, it wasn’t the right word to say. Luckily, Lee didn’t notice, and hugged him tighter.

“That’s really, really nice of you Gaara. I think you’re really nice. I like you too. We should hang out more often. You make me feel happy.” Lee mumbled, nuzzling his head against Gaara’s neck. Gaara’s face got very hot again with Lee’s words and actions. He knew that he was just very drunk and upset, but it seemed like he meant it. He hoped he meant it. Lee suddenly looked up at Gaara, eyes filled with tears and concern again.

“But-I remember in Tsunade’s class- you didn’t seem like you liked me then. I felt like I was being annoying then. I just wanted to be your friend, but all you said to me was your name. I was just trying to make friends with you.” Lee pointed out. Gaara remembered that day and felt very guilty suddenly for not trying harder to interact with him. He had been so concerned about being rejected by him that he had completely shut him out. In hindsight, that probably hurt his feelings. Gaara just didn’t know back then that Lee had so many feelings.

“I know- I’m sorry, it’s just” Gaara huffed, still trying to be comforting while not quite going over all of the reasons why he was so stoic back then. “I’m not usually like this, I’m not usually so open with people. I’ve never had any real friends other than my siblings, and it was the first day of school so I- I was nervous. I wanted to be a different person than I was in high school. I wanted people to think of me differently. I just didn’t know how. I still don’t know how. And when you said my name was ‘striking’, and you looked at me with that big grin of yours, I didn’t know how to react.” He got quieter. “Nobody had ever said anything that nice to me before.”

Lee looked shocked. It was if he couldn’t believe that anyone would be anything other than nice to Gaara.

“Did it make you happy? When I said that to you?” Lee asked, softly stroking Gaara’s arm. Now that the crying had stopped, Gaara became aware of something else in Lee’s tone. His ears were hot now too. Was it possible that Rock Lee was attracted to him? Was that what was happening?

“I- yeah, I just- It made me too happy.” Gaara stuttered. “I’ve never been a very happy person, and when you were just so nice to me out of nowhere, I didn’t know what to do with it. Honestly I- I really don’t know what to do with this.”

“With what?” Lee slurred, and he looked down at his hands, which were now moving to stroke his chest. “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m just really drunk.” He took his hands off Gaara’s body and sat up straight, well, as straight as he could. Gaara didn’t really want him to stop, but if he was really that drunk, it was probably for the best.

“Lee! Lee, are you okay? I heard what happened with Sakura.” Naruto shouted through the door of the house as he approached with the rest of the boys. At the mention of Sakura’s name, Lee burst into tears again, and Naruto ran to help his crying friend to his feet.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay buddy, she’s a real bitch for treating you like that.” Naruto looked at Gaara. “Thanks for looking out for him, Gaara, I’ve got it from here. Hey, Lee, come on man lets go get some food.” Naruto started walking Lee out of the fraternity lawn and onto the sidewalk towards the bar district.

“Drunk Lee strikes again. You’re a real one for dealing with that on your first night out, Gaara.” Shikamaru said as he clapped him on the back. Gaara looked at him and realized the rest of the guys were smiling and nodding in agreement.

“Do you think he’ll be okay?” Gaara asked, concerned.

“I mean, he wasn’t sobbing when we came out here until Naruto went and mentioned that she-beast, so I’d say that’s a good sign.” Kiba growled, but then smirked at Gaara. “I’d say you did pretty good.”

“Yeah, if there were ever an initiation into our friend group, this would be it, and you definitely passed with flying colors.” Neji chuckled. “Now come on, lets catch up with them.”

Gaara walked with the group- no, his new friends- to meet with Naruto and Lee. Lee had stopped crying, but Naruto was still offering kind words and had his arm around his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, bushy brow, we’ll always love you.” Naruto smiled into his words as he patted Lee on the back. Gaara smiled too. Bushy brow. That’s really cute.


	6. Chapter 6

“Did it make you happy? When I said that to you?” Rock Lee stroked Gaara’s arm, then moved to his chest. “Do you like it when I say nice things about you?”

_Yes,_ Gaara thought, but he couldn’t say anything, and he simply watched as those strong, stable hands started to journey underneath his shirt. His breathing quickened.

“Do you like it when I touch you, Gaara? I think you do.”

_Yes, please don’t stop_. His heart was beating out of his chest. He could barely feel anything except the blood rushing in his face and ears and his-

Gaara woke up in his dorm bed, alone, gasping for air. His head was pounding, and he was extremely dehydrated. The memories of the night before flooded his brain. He had gone way out of his comfort zone, and that was not normal. It felt right, but definitely not normal. He needed to find some normalcy today, so he texted Temari.

“Hey. Can I come over?” He sent the message.

“Yeah, of course, are you okay?” She responded.

Was he okay? He didn’t fully know. That’s kind of what he needed to find out by talking to her. He sent back a quick “Yeah, coming over.”, before heading out of his room with his book in hand.

Campus felt different now. Maybe because it was Saturday and nobody was out, but he couldn’t help but think maybe it was because he had friends now. Did he have friends now? sure, they went to a party together and got food afterwards, but if they really knew him, would they still like him? That wasn’t for sure. People tended to regret getting close to him, or trying to that is. He thought of the way that Lee opened up to him last night. Was that normal? Can you really do that to normal people and have them not hate you? He was mulling all of this over in his head as he knocked on Temari’s door. She opened up and shot him an amused look.

“Rough night?”

“Why do you ask?”

Temari scoffed. “Well, lets see, you didn’t take off your makeup last night so it’s running down your cheeks, you smell like a frat house basement, and you’re here instead of holed up in your room. What’s up?

Gaara walked inside and sat down on the couch, placing his book beside him.

“I got a new roommate. He took me to a party with his friends last night.”

Temari was shocked. Not just playfully shocked, genuinely shocked. Her little brother never struck her as a social butterfly, and she got concerned that something had gone wrong.

“Are you okay? Did you get into a fight? What happened?” She sputtered off questions left and right, trying to discern if this was actually Gaara or just a very convincing clone. Gaara shook his head, a bit frustrated that Temari was so unbelieving that he could just go to a party and have nothing bad happen. He just wanted to make sure that what had happened was actually good, and he wasn’t just fooling himself.

“I’m fine, everyone is fine. I think I had fun. I think that Naruto and his friends like me. It was just- a lot. I’m not sure if I’m ready to see them again.” Gaara explained. His sister calmed down a bit and sat beside him smiling.

“That’s good, Gaara, that’s really good to hear. I’m not surprised you’re a little overstimulated. Parties can do that to you. I’m sure when you see Naruto and his friends again, well, it won’t be like that all the time. Friends do other things too, things that aren’t quite as overwhelming.” Temari reassured.

Gaara hesitated before telling her the next bit of information.

“I guess one thing did happen that I really don’t know what to make of. Rock Lee got dumped by his girlfriend, and he was crying. Hysterically. Nobody else was around and I didn’t know what to do, so I tried to comfort him.”

Temari’s eyes widened. Gaara could barely accept comfort for himself, and Temari knew Rock Lee. He was an emotional whirlwind, especially while drunk. And her little brother, the same little brother who had been expelled twice from two different high schools for getting in too many fights, the same little brother who had told her so many times to fuck off just for trying to help him, the same little brother who had no friends to speak of until apparently last night, had just said that he tried to comfort Rock Lee?

“What did you do?” She almost whispered.

“Well, I asked if he was okay and he just kind of collapsed on me and started going on about how mean Sakura was to him and he was just crying and I just- I don’t know, I just said what I thought about it.” Gaara mumbled, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. “I said that she probably didn’t really love him, because people who really love you don’t think you’re annoying or too emotional. Was that the right thing to say?”

Temari just looked at him in shock. She had no idea how Gaara had managed to come up with that on his own, while drunk, to an almost total stranger. This was more open than he had ever been with anyone in his life, even her.

“What? Temari, now you’re making me feel like I just messed him up even more!” Gaara groaned, leaning his head back against the couch in frustration. Temari shook herself and tried to recover lost ground.

“No, no, that’s great! That was a perfect thing to say. I’m sure that made him feel better. Did he stop crying?”

“Yeah, kind of. But what really made him stop is that I told him that I liked him.”

Temari raised an eyebrow. “And?”

“And he said he liked me too. He said that I was nice, and I made him happy.”

“Okay, well that’s good, Gaara. That’s a good interaction. I think you really helped him. You should feel good about that.” Temari breathed a little easier. She knew how her brother acted when he got rejected. The fact that he would even put himself out there like that spoke volumes on his growth over the past year. Gaara looked down at his hands, and it seemed like he had something else on his mind.

“What is it?” She questioned, almost begging to see more of this side of Gaara, but she didn’t want to push too hard.

“Well, I think he might-I think he might have been-well, interested in me. He kept touching me and maybe he was just drunk and upset, but there was something else in his voice when we were talking about how we liked each other, and it was- it was really exciting.” He said, and Temari noticed a blush spreading across his face. Her little brother was blushing because a boy had held his hand. This stunned Temari even more than she originally thought possible. She took a deep breath, not quite sure how to proceed. On one hand, she wanted to run around screaming ‘Gaara’s got a boyfriend!’, but on the other she realized that if he was just reading into things and Lee didn’t actually like him in that way, he would be heartbroken and possibly even violent, so she tried to remain neutral.

“Well, you need to take into account the drunkenness. And the heartbreak. He will probably need some time to recover from that before even thinking about starting something new. But Gaara, if you like him like that, I think you should pursue it. Rock Lee is a nice guy, and I know even if he doesn’t feel the same he would still want to be friends with you. Maybe start there. Honestly, I’m just ecstatic you’re finally making friends.” Temari almost giggled. Gaara looked at her with a small smirk. “I think you sell yourself short because of all the shit that went down in high school. You’re a great kid. You deserve to have good people around you.”

They were interrupted by Kankuro barging through the door. He looked at Gaara and started laughing hysterically.

“Dude, you’ve got black eyeshadow all over your face.” He laughed as he playfully punched his little brother on the arm. “And you smell like vodka. This is new. Seems like you had a good night. Put ‘er there.” He held up his hand for a high five. Gaara awkwardly obliged, still smirking. He liked his brother. Temari was good at understanding and interpreting emotional matters, but Kankuro was good at making him feel normal.

“Want to hear about Gaara’s big night?” Temari shouted as Kankuro moved into the kitchen.

“I heard the most of it from dog-breath at practice.” Kankuro shouted back.

“Dog-breath?” Gaara questioned.

“Yeah-er, Kiba. He’s on my rec football team. He said you fit in just fine with the guys, but then he left you alone with Lee and things got a little hectic. He was impressed by your ability to act so cool in the face of all that drama.”

“Cool?”

Kankuro chuckled as he walked back into the room with a huge sandwich. “Yeah, how’s it feel to be cool like me, little bro?”

Gaara smiled. Kiba said he was cool. He wasn’t imagining it. These guys really wanted to be his friends. It felt good. For the first time, he had friends that liked him and thought he was cool. Even when talking about him to others. His thoughts were broken by Temari lovingly rustling his hair.

“Hey, you hear that? I know what your brain does, it’s gonna try to tell you to second guess yourself, but for once in your life, try not to. Don’t overthink it. Now go home and take a shower, you really do stink.” Temari grinned, nudging her brother out the door.


	7. Chapter 7

Gaara stepped out of the shower and made his way back to his dorm room, still hearing ‘cool’ over and over again in his head. He noted the quieter, but still loud creaking noises coming out of Sasuke’s room, and realized that Naruto must be in there. He cringed slightly, trying to get the image of his roommate being fucked out of his head. He opened the door, expecting to just sit down and read, but instead, he saw Rock Lee sitting on Naruto’s bed. He grew bright red, realizing all he had on was his boxers.

“Gaara! I am so sorry, I had no idea you were- I was just here to see Naruto but he- well” Lee blushed hard, and turned his face away.

“Yeah, um, it’s okay, let me just- uh” Gaara scrambled with his words and a pair of sweatpants as he internally pinched himself to make sure this wasn’t just another dream. Nope. Very real. He grabbed a random sweatshirt from his closet and moved to sit on his bed.

The two boys sat awkwardly on the beds, Lee still facing away, embarrassed about catching Gaara right out of the shower, and also probably by the noises they could both hear from across the hall. Gaara had no idea what to say, his brain was screaming incoherent nonsense about how he had just ruined everything and that nothing would ever be the same and that last night had just been one big mistake. He tried to calm himself down as he remembered Temari’s words; _Don’t overthink it._ She was right. He was overthinking it and it probably wasn’t that big of a deal, Lee was a soccer player, he’d probably seen plenty of men in their boxers in the locker room.

 _Well that thought didn’t really help much either_ he thought to himself, feeling a pang of jealousy that Lee had seen other men in their boxers, and more so than that other men had seen Lee in his boxers. He again tried to collect himself and say something, anything to make the uncomfortable silence go away.

“So, um, how are you?” Gaara asked timidly. Lee turned to him with a small smile, but he looked so sad.

“Sakura is not talking to me, so I guess that means that we really are over. I am feeling sad that she does not return my affections, but” He paused, looking deeper into Gaara’s eyes. “What you said last night- it did not feel good to hear at first, that maybe Sakura never truly loved me, but it made a lot of sense. I should not devote myself to someone who does not love me for all of me. It is disrespectful to myself. So I have decided I will move on. That is all I can do. It hurts right now, but that is the price of passion.” Lee eloquently sighed.

“I’m sorry, Lee. It hurts to be rejected.” That’s all Gaara could say. That’s what he knew was true, all too true.

“How are you doing, Gaara?” Lee asked, turning the conversation away from himself. Gaara thought about how he should respond to that. It seemed like whenever Lee opened his mouth, it was a waterfall of honest, raw emotions. He didn’t want to be short like he usually was, saying ‘good’ when he was not good, or ‘bad’ when he was at his worst, but never explicating on it. Not like Lee. He wanted to be like that. He wanted to open up too, but he was afraid. Suddenly, he realized that he was very afraid, and had no idea how to communicate how he was feeling without making a fool of himself. Lee noticed this silence and instead asked “Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?”

Did he want to talk about it? “Yes, but” Gaara hesitated. “I- I don’t really know how. I want to give you an honest answer but I’m scared.” That was the first time in his life that he had ever verbalized that he was scared. Lee looked concerned, and a little bit confused, so Gaara tried to clarify. “I told you before that I’ve never really had any friends, and I wasn’t exaggerating. I don’t know how you act around friends. I don’t want to treat you like a stranger but I’m scared of- I don’t know, scaring you away?”

Lee laughed at this, and Gaara winced and tensed up, preparing himself mentally for the worst.

“Gaara, last night I cried in your lap for thirty minutes and you just sat there and held me. You think that you could scare me away? Every time you speak I just want to know more. I want to know you, the real you.” Lee said, smiling and moving to sit next to Gaara on his bed. “I am honored to be one of your first friends. It means you trust me, and I trust you too. You have shown me with your words and actions that I can.”

Gaara felt his heartbeat quicken. He was starting to get red again, and wondered if Lee was going to touch him. He just needed to let go.

“My head is all messed up, Lee.” He blurted out, and suddenly, Gaara couldn’t stop the words from coming out of his mouth. “My entire life I’ve been this way, I’m shy and self-conscious and I have never felt like a normal person. I never had friends as a kid and when I got into middle school and high school I started lashing out because of it, which made people especially not want to be my friend. I was just so angry that nobody liked me and there wasn’t anything I could do about it, so I just got to a point where I assumed everyone hated me. I hated myself. I hated myself so much. I hate myself so much.” Gaara realized he was crying but he didn’t stop. “But then last night- Naruto- and the guys- and you- and everything feels so different now. I don’t think I can go back to the way I used to be after that. I don’t think I can be alone again and I’m scared because I was getting so good at it. I’m so good at being alone. And I used to crave being alone but now it’s like there’s an emptiness that was never there before. But how could-how could any of you like me when you’re all so good at being together? I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how.” Gaara was stopped by arms wrapping around him tightly, so tight that he lost what was left of his breath and just started crying. They sat like that for a while until Gaara came back to reality and realized everything that he had just said made him sound like a madman, a psychotic loser, a-

“You do not deserve to hate yourself, Gaara.” Lee whispered into his ear with a smile on his voice. Gaara felt like he was dreaming. This could not be real.

“This is all very new and different to you. I hope we have not overwhelmed you too much. But all of us, Naruto, Sasuke, Kiba, Shino, Neji, Shikamaru, Choji, and I, we have all been in your shoes. We have all felt like outcasts. Maybe not to the same extent you have, but believe me, we like you and we do not want you to ever have to be alone again.” Lee spoke gently.

This was a lot for Gaara to take in. “Thank you.” He replied softly. It was the only thing he was thinking, and he felt embarrassed, especially after looking at Lee’s shirt and seeing that he had left it stained and soggy with tears and residual makeup. But he also felt _relief_ wash over him. It was messy and uncomfortable, and he wasn’t sure if he made any sense, but he did it. He opened up to Lee and told him how he was feeling. And Lee didn’t go away. Lee embraced him. He was still embracing him. Gaara felt so, so much better.

The dream was broken when Naruto walked into the room with Sasuke. Gaara tensed up and moved away from Lee quickly. It was obvious he had been crying, and Naruto looked at him with concern.

“Hey guys, everything good?” Naruto asked hesitantly. Gaara just looked away and tried to wipe the makeup off of his face. He had just taken another huge leap outside of his comfort zone, and he wasn’t about to cry in front of two more of his potential friends.

“Gaara is in the springtime of youth, discovering his emotions and how to share them with others!” Lee proclaimed like it was nothing, like he hadn’t just been bawling like a baby at 19 years old. Sasuke smirked.

“Huh. So you cracked him. I was betting on Naruto for that one. Sounds like you just got him at the right place and the right time.” Sasuke chuckled.

“Cracked me? What-“ Gaara stuttered, now extremely confused. Naruto elbowed Sasuke in the ribs and looked at Gaara with compassion in his eyes.

“Sasuke has this conviction that Lee and I- well, crack people. You know, get them to come out of their shells. Don’t feel weird about it- or about crying- Sasuke cried for hours when I cracked him. It just happens when you board yourself up emotionally. It’s good. You don’t have to tell me right now what you and Lee talked about, but” Naruto smiled sincerely. “I hope you will someday. Because you can trust me too, you know?”

Gaara didn’t know, but he was happy to hear it, even if he didn’t quite believe it yet. He still felt embarrassed, but again, just so very relieved. He had found people that did not reject him just because he was complicated. He didn’t have to fight anymore.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: this chapter is a little bit dark, and references past self harm. If you're not comfortable with this, please just skip to the next chapter!

It was a rainy March evening, and Gaara sat in his bed and read his book, reflecting on the past week. Sasuke was right, ever since that moment with Lee he really had come out of his shell. He was more social in that one week than he had been in his entire life, and he didn’t dread a moment of it. He still valued his quiet time on occasion, but this time, he left the door open. It was as if like a light went off and he understood why his former roommate had done it. He now wanted to invite people into his space, into his life, and for the first time he had the ability to do that.

Temari was right too. It wasn’t all overwhelming. Those first two days were a whirlwind of firsts and new feelings and navigating himself, but sometimes he just had friends around to do his normal day to day stuff. He discovered that he even had classes with some of them. Neji was in his organismic biology class, and they decided to be partners during the lab portions. Shino and Kiba were in his chemistry class, and that was a riot. He had never met anyone who could make such a boring lecture so fun, and they often got lunch together afterwards. Shikamaru was in his statistics class, and even though he slept through most of it, he was always able to help Gaara study, it seemed like he learned through osmosis. The best part was that he had public speaking with Naruto. It was their first class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so they got to wake up together and walk there as a pair. Naruto seemed keen to act as Gaara’s personal hype man, and if he ever got nervous standing up and speaking in front of the class, he would look to Naruto, and there he would be, with a bright, encouraging smile on his face.

Outside of classes, they all chatted in their group chat, meandered between each other’s rooms, and set up times to study and eat together. Every day, Gaara was excited to get out of bed. It felt nice to have people to share his life with. He never thought it could be so freeing to be a part of other people’s lives. He always assumed that it would just bog him down and overwhelm him, as his own life was so overwhelming already with just him, but that wasn’t the case.

His train of thought was halted by a knock on the door, even though it was open. It was Rock Lee. He had two towels with him, and a big smile on his face. This time, the sadness was gone.

“What’s up, Lee?” Gaara said, smiling. Rock Lee just walked in and sat on the foot of his bed.

“You” He used a pointed finger to push back Gaara’s book and touched his nose. “Are coming swimming with me. Get dressed.”

Gaara froze. This was a moment he was dreading, a moment where he would have to face his own self consciousness if he wanted to move forward. He wanted to move forward, in many ways, and especially with Lee. He had grown very attached to his friend, and the more they spent time together, the more it seemed like maybe he had interpreted things right that night at the party. He had to do this. He knew he had to. But maybe there was a way he could just tiptoe out of his comfort zone instead of catapult himself. He put his book on the nightstand.

“Okay, but on one condition.”

“What would that be?”

“You- you can’t look at me.”

Lee looked puzzled. “I do not know if I can accept those terms.”

Gaara huffed. “Fine. Just, try not to look at me? Or only look at my face?”

Again, Lee was confused, but he could tell that Gaara was not in the right place to talk about whatever it was that was keeping him from looking at his body. If he could get him out of the room, maybe they would talk about it later, so he simply said “I will try. Now get dressed.”

Gaara put on his swim trunks and a long-sleeved shirt that he didn’t care about. He looked himself up and down in the mirror. _This is never going to work_ he sighed internally, but he knew it was time. Maybe Lee is attracted to 5’ 6” , little mousey boys. Even still, he didn’t want to think about what would ensue if he had to take his shirt off. He tried to shake off the feelings and went out to the hallway where Lee was waiting.

Lee was making an obvious effort only to look at Gaara’s face, like he had been asked. Gaara appreciated it, but quickly realized that it was going to be harder for Lee than he had realized. Of course it would be. What kind of idiot thinks that you can just tell someone to not look at your body and they won’t want to look? Gaara sighed as they got into Lee’s car.

“It’s okay, Lee, you know, maybe I was overreacting a little bit, I’m just sensitive.” Gaara muttered, heat rising in his cheeks as he could feel Lee taking his permission seriously and gazing at his figure. It was nothing intimidating or predatory, but Gaara felt like he was being analyzed somehow. Lee huffed.

“I just am having trouble understanding, because you are- well, there is not anything wrong with you or your body. It looks just fine to me.”

That made Gaara relax a bit, but he was still tense. They entered the natatorium, and since it was raining, it was empty. Gaara relaxed a little bit more. At least it was only him and Lee. They went to the changing room, and Lee stripped off his shirt and shorts, revealing a bright green speedo. Gaara made an effort not to look at his bulge as he slipped off his shoes and his jacket, leaving the long-sleeved shirt on as he tried to exit the room without Lee noticing.

“Gaara?” _Shit_. “I think you are, um, forgetting something?” Lee questioned.

“Shit.” Gaara whispered to himself, and he turned back to face Lee, all skin and muscle. “I’m not taking off my shirt. I get cold.” He mumbled. Lee approached him cautiously, probably sensing this obvious lie.

“Gaara,” Lee almost whined. It would have been arousing if it were not for the situation Gaara was being put into. “I have already told you I like your body.” Okay, now despite the situation, it was definitely arousing. But Gaara shook himself and looked down.

“I can’t.” Gaara said quietly.

“Why not?”

“I have, scars. On my arms.”

Lee chuckled. “That is nothing to worry about, I have scars too! Look, see here I tried to jump a fence, and-“ He looked up from pointing to a scar on the inside of his thigh to see that there were tears running down Gaara’s face. He quickly took his cheeks in both of his palms. “Gaara, what is the matter? It is nothing to be ashamed of. Really. Why are you-?”

Gaara jerked away from his hands, a pained look on his face as he crumpled to the ground. He wanted to scream. He felt that familiar, violent heat well up in his chest for the first time in a week. He wanted to break something, hurt someone, hurt himself. He was angry that he had let himself be this vulnerable. He was starting to feel like it was all a big mistake, and he was better off alone, because nobody can love a self-hating loser, and-

“Hey.” His eyes were still closed but he could feel Lee’s breath on his face. “I- I can never understand unless you tell me how you are feeling. I want to understand. I will not run away.” Gaara froze. Nobody got close to him like that when he was like this. Neither his sister nor his brother would dare. But Lee was. He felt himself being grounded by his closeness and got himself back under control. He did not know how to proceed with this. Lee wanted to understand him. He wanted to know him. And this, he supposed, was an important part of knowing him. So, without saying anything, or even opening his eyes, he took off his shirt and held his arms out towards Lee.

“Oh. I-I think I understand now.” When Gaara opened his eyes, Lee was crying. When he saw that Gaara was looking at him, he quickly tried to act like he wasn’t, but it was unsuccessful. “I am so sorry Gaara, I should not have pushed you with something so personal, I am so, so sorry.”

“I don’t do it anymore.” Gaara choked out, his throat still tight. That was all he could think of to say. Lee touched his arms with both hands, feeling the ribbed edges of his skin.

“That is a relief. I am proud of you.” Lee said, giving Gaara a soft smile. “Do you- do you want to talk about it?” Lee questioned. Gaara shook his head, this had been plenty. Maybe one day if he felt brave enough he would, but even just mentioning the scars brought back so much fear and anger and pain, and he was exhausted.

“Okay. Come on, let us rejuvenate ourselves in this lovely pool and get those endorphins flowing.” Lee grinned widely, and scooped Gaara up, and threw him into the pool. When he came up for air, he was laughing.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANNNNDDD here's the smut.

“Swimming wasn’t such a bad idea, Lee, I’m glad I came with you” Gaara smiled as the two walked back to Gaara’s room. They heard loud music playing from across the hall, which even though it was a little bit more bearable, it still was a subtle reminder that Naruto was getting busy with Sasuke. They both winced slightly and walked into Gaara’s dorm. Gaara turned around to ask Lee if he wanted to watch a movie or something, but he was startled by the intense look in Lee’s eyes.

“Um, what’s up?” He stammered. He remembered how Lee whined his name earlier at the pool, begging to see his body. His face began to get hot as his friend came closer and placed his hands on Gaara’s shoulders.

Lee leaned in, and whispered sensually in Gaara’s ear, “Do you like it when I touch you?”

Gaara was frozen. This was it. This was the moment he had dreamed about so many times before, ever since he met Lee that first day of classes. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t even nod. Before he had time to will his brain to work, to do something, Lee cascaded his hands down Gaara’s arms and onto his hips. Gaara shuddered and let out a breath of air it felt like he had been holding for hours. Lee grinned, but it was not the normal, goofy grin he usually wore. This grin had something else to it, something full of desire.

“Gaara,” He said in a breathy, sing song voice. “You know I will not do anything without your permission. Do not make me wait forever.”

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

Gaara swallowed hard. “Yes, Lee, I like it when you touch me, I really really like it.” There was that grin again. It was devious. As if on cue, Lee grabbed the back of Gaara’s head and forcefully pressed their lips together. Gaara felt like he was going to die, or like he had already died and gone to heaven, because Rock Lee was now kissing him, passionately, their tongues in eachothers mouths. Lee groaned into the kiss as he took his hand out of the redhead’s locks and placed it on his already hard cock. Gaara gasped in pleasure at the slight touch and moved to do the same to Lee.

“Jesus Christ, Lee,” Gaara moaned, gripping the taller boy over his pants and feeling his entire length. “You’re so big.”

Lee growled, moving to take Gaara’s shirt off and kissing him down his neck and chest. “Do you like that?” He started to pull Gaara’s pants down. “Would you like to take all of my cock?” He grasped Gaara’s throbbing erection in his hand. “Yes or no?”

It was obvious Lee was trying to torture him, and he had made it clear that he would do nothing if Gaara did not respond, and seeing him on his knees like that, for him, it made him whimper.

“Yes, please.”

“That is very polite of you.” Lee gave him one slow stroke. Gaara gasped. “Now what are you saying yes to?”

“I- I want your cock inside of me- please Lee, I-“ Before he could finish talking, Lee wrapped his mouth around his entire length. Gaara was trembling, a hot, moaning mess as Lee sucked him off, flitting his tongue up and down his shaft as he went. It felt like he was close to the edge, and as Lee felt him tense up, he stopped, wiped off his mouth, and began to get undressed himself. Gaara opened his eyes, which had been previously clenched shut in pleasure, and saw Lee fully naked, patting on the bed.

“You had better lay down. On your back.” Lee commanded. Gaara saw him take a bottle of lube out from his bookbag. Lee noticed the hesitation in Gaara’s step. “Gaara, is this your first time?”

“Um,” Gaara gulped. “Yes, but it’s okay, I’m ready. I want to have sex with you.” He laid down on his bed and looked up expectantly at Lee.

Lee gave a fake pout and smiled that wicked smile once again. “Oh, my sweet virginal baby. Do not worry, I will take good care of you.” This was so unexpected, he was so kinky, and Gaara was aching for more. Lee moistened his fingers with the lube and threw the bottle on the bed. “Rotate your hips, that’s it,” Lee whispered as Gaara did as he instructed.

Lee slowly slid one finger into Gaara’s hole, and he gasped. This was again, not what he expected, but as he moved around and put the second finger in to continue stretching him, he could tell Lee knew exactly what he was doing. His long fingers reached deep inside of him, and all of a sudden- bliss, just pure bliss. That made Gaara get loud, and he covered his own mouth in shock of the sounds he had just emitted. No wonder Naruto and Sasuke rang up so many noise complaints. Lee grinned.

“You like that baby?” He stuck a third and final finger in and began massaging that sweet spot. Gaara moaned into his hand, nodding yes, hoping that Lee would get the hint.

“I said” Lee took his other hand and grabbed Gaara’s wrist, freeing his mouth, and pushing it against the bed. “Do you like that?”

“Y-yes Lee, I- FUCK!” Gaara exclaimed as Lee started his massaging and stretching once more. “I- I really like that!” Lee smiled in a sickly-sweet way, took his hand off of Gaara’s wrist, and leaned up to whisper in his ear;

“You are going to cum so hard when I fuck you.”

With those words, Lee slipped his fingers out, and Gaara wasn’t sure if he gasped at that or at the fact that Lee had just said fuck. He had never heard this man curse, and he was pretty sure that not very many people have. His eyes went wide as he watched Lee lube his cock up. He was going incredibly slow, and it must have been purposeful, because when Gaara started to whine, he looked up with a smile that was just begging to be taken for innocence.

“What is it baby, are you ready for my cock?” Lee crawled up on top of Gaara’s body. He knew the drill by now.

“Yes, yes, I’m ready for your cock- please just-“ Gaara felt the tip slide in and his voice caught in his throat. After a moment, he realized Lee was not moving. “Lee, I said yes, now please just-“ a hand clasped over his mouth, and he heard Lee shushing him.

“We have to be gentle. Now do not tell me what to do.” Gaara stopped talking. There was an intensity in Lee’s voice as he spoke, and he began to thrust into Gaara, stopping halfway. Gaara was squirming underneath him, and again started to whine, but with one look into Lee’s eyes he remembered what he had been told and shut his mouth. Lee smiled.

“You are such a good boy!” Lee grunted as he thrust his full length into Gaara, immediately hitting his prostate, causing him to shiver and moan louder, and louder with each thrust. Lee was right, and it didn’t take him long, Gaara came harder than he ever had in his entire life. The sight of his lover finishing and just how tight he was soon gave Lee the release he was looking for too. He came hard into Gaara’s ass. After the shockwaves had passed, Lee pulled out slowly, and laid down next to Gaara, cuddling his panting body.

Lee gave Gaara about a million kisses on his chest, neck, and arms, and looked at him with sweet eyes as he maneuvered the redhead onto his chest.

“Are you okay? I know I can get rough, but I am serious, I would never do something to you without permission.” Lee asked sweetly. It was a stark contrast to the tone he had been using just minutes earlier. Gaara chuckled at the change of pace.

“Yes, I’m just fine. That was-that was amazing Lee. I feel like I’ve been waiting for that my entire life.” Gaara sighed, he couldn’t stop smiling. Lee kissed him on the forehead and sat up, throwing pants on and moving to the door.

“I am going to go get you some ice.” Lee called back as he opened the door- and came face to face with Sasuke. Lee jumped, and quickly shut the door. “Wh- Hello Sasuke, what are you doing?” Gaara heard Lee ask through the door.

Sasuke growled a single word in return. “Ice.”

Gaara stifled a laugh as he heard their voices trail into the distance. He wasn’t sure what this meant for the two of them, but he hoped that it wouldn’t just be a one time thing.


	10. Chapter 10

Gaara woke up the next morning to Naruto shaking him. He opened his eyes and saw that all of his friends from the hall were in his room, looking at him with excited and inquisitive expressions. This was an ambush he was not expecting, and he pushed Naruto off of him as he looked around the room. Naruto grinned deviously.

“Gaara.”

“Naruto?”

“So, we’re all dying to know and I just couldn’t wait any longer.”

“Dying to know what?”

Naruto scoffed, and started punching him playfully. “I think you know. These walls are thin, you didn’t think you could keep it a secret from us for long, right?”

Gaara was suddenly very awake, and he started to grow red. Is this really something you talked about with friends? Judging by the six men in his room, all sitting in a half circle around his bed and looking at him attentively, apparently it was. Gaara looked at Sasuke, who was smirking knowingly, and he realized that they all already knew. He had sex with Rock Lee last night, and they wanted to hear about what happened. He wasn’t sure where to start, especially knowing that they had probably heard every noise that came out of his mouth last night.

“Come on, Gaara, we all know Lee fucked you last night. That’s why he was getting ice, right? When Sasuke saw him in the hall he said he looked red as a tomato.” Naruto exclaimed bluntly. Gaara blushed even harder. “So what happened? Are you guys an item now or what?”

“I-I don’t know about that, we just went swimming and when we came back it kind of just- happened.” Gaara stammered, unsure of how many details his friends wanted him to disclose. “I don’t even know if he wants me to talk about it, maybe he doesn’t want me to tell anyone, I mean before this I just assumed he was straight, maybe he doesn’t-“

“ ‘Neji, I feel like my heart will explode from my chest, making love to Gaara after wanting him for so long was an experience I will never be able to beat.’” Neji interrupted, reading from his phone. He looked up at Gaara with an eyebrow raised. “I don’t think he is uncomfortable with his sexuality. There’s a lot more here too, mentions of ‘porcelain skin’ and ‘followed my every command’ and”

“Okay, okay, that’s enough, I get it.” Gaara paused. “He- he’s only known me a week, what does that mean, he ‘wanted me for so long’?”

Neji scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Ever since he met you last semester, he hasn’t stopped talking about you. When he started dating Sakura it died down, but he’d see you reading at the soccer fields and ask me, ‘do you think this time he will say hello to me after practice?’”

Gaara’s eyes widened. “He-you guys-you saw me?”

“You’re kind of hard to miss, what with the bright red hair and dark eye makeup.” Shikamaru groaned, leaning his back on Naruto’s bed. “And I have a feeling you weren’t just there to read, I think that you were there to look at Lee.”

“No, no I wasn’t- that wasn’t why I-“ Gaara protested, but the boys looked fairly unconvinced. Gaara sighed. “Okay, well, maybe that was part of it.”

Naruto clapped his hands together and smiled wide. “Oh my god, this is so cute. You guys were totally crushing on each-other and neither of you even knew it! Okay, listen, so in a couple of hours we’re having a darty, and-“

“A darty?”

“Yeah, a day party, it’s fun to drink outside during the spring. Anyways, you need to get dressed and get ready to talk to Lee about this. He’s at the house right now getting ready, and you need to get there before the rest of us so you can have a little privacy.” Naruto explained, now grabbing Gaara and pushing him out of bed. “Here, we’ll go pregame in Sasuke’s room, but you better not be here when we come back or else.”

With that, the boys filed out of the room, and Gaara was relieved they weren’t begging him to go over some of the more intimate details of his night. Still, he couldn’t believe what Neji had said. Could it really be true that Rock Lee had felt the same about him this entire time? It didn’t seem possible that the tall, popular captain of the soccer team could possibly have been interested in him, but then again, with what they did last night it seemed it must be. Gaara got ready for the day, brushing his teeth and applying his makeup with shaking hands, until he was finally ready to make the walk to the fraternity house.

When he arrived, he put his hand up to knock, and paused. What the hell was he doing? These people had no idea who he was, would they even let him in to see Lee? He felt out of place, and even though Naruto had said he didn’t want to find him back in his room, maybe he could go somewhere else, and nobody would ever know. Maybe he could avoid this a little bit longer, after all it was still possible that Rock Lee would not want to be his boyfriend. If he had started dating Sakura once before, maybe he was looking for someone who would elevate his status, not bring it down like Gaara was sure he would. Apparently none of his close friends cared that he was interested in men, but what about the rest of the soccer team? And his fraternity brothers? He lived in a house full of men, surely some of them would have crude remarks and insults to throw. Just as he was about to turn around, the door swung open, and Lee was standing there, at first a bit surprised to see someone on the other side, but as soon as he realized it was Gaara, a wide smile came across his face.

“Gaara! What are you doing here? The party does not start for a few hours. Not that I am not delighted to see you.” Lee crooned, rustling Gaara’s hair as he spoke. Gaara smiled nervously.

“I-I wanted to come see you and talk about-um, last night.” Gaara stammered, feeling the blood rush to his face. Lee’s expression fell slightly, and he made a gesture for Gaara to come in.

“Here, let us retire to my room for conversation.”

They walked up the stairs to Lee’s room, and Choji was there, watching some TV show and munching on a bag of chips. He turned to look at them, and he quickly fumbled around with the remote to turn off his show.

“Oh, Gaara, good to see you buddy, I was-I was just gonna go downstairs and get lunch. I’ll see you later Lee.” Choji said, leaving the two of them alone. Gaara turned to Lee.

“Does he-?”

“Um, yes, I am sorry if that embarrasses you, last night was just- it was very exciting for me.” Lee paused and gulped nervously. “I-I hope I have not upset you.”

“No, I’m not upset, I’m just-“ Gaara sat on the couch and tried to rummage through the thoughts swirling around his head. “Lee, do you- do you like me?”

Lee chuckled and sat down next to him. “Of course I like you.”

“But I mean- did you want to- do you want to- continue? Doing- well, doing what we did last night?” Gaara looked down, getting very red again.

“Well, it was certainly enjoyable for me. And if you are asking if I want to do it again, the answer is a resounding yes, any time you want.”

“Yeah, I-I would like to do that again too, but what I mean is- in what context?”

Lee paused. He thought for a moment, and suddenly his face lit up. “Gaara, do you want to be in a relationship with me?”

Again, Gaara’s words were stuck in his throat. He couldn’t believe that Rock Lee was actually asking him if he wanted to be his boyfriend. Up until very recently, nobody had even wanted to be his friend, and now this man that he had pined after for so long was finally asking the question, and Gaara realized he didn’t even fully understand what being in a relationship entailed. His train of thought was broken by Lee’s strong, stable hand pressing into his thigh.

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?” Lee smirked, again getting a familiar devious look in his eyes that Gaara recognized from the night before.

“Yes, I-I want to be your boyfriend. I don’t know if I’ll be good at it, I don’t really know what to do, but I promise I’ll never call you annoying or too emotional or-“ Gaara’s rambling was halted by Lee’s lips pressing into his. This was not like last night, it was gentle and romantic. Lee broke the kiss and looked into Gaara’s eyes, pressing his head against the other’s forehead.

“You do not have to know what to do. There is no rulebook for a relationship. All I ask is that you are mine, and that I am yours.” Lee spoke softly, caressing Gaara’s cheeks with both of his hands. Gaara closed his eyes.

“I really care about you. I’ve never cared about someone like this before. It’s exciting, but it’s scary. I-I never want to hurt you, Lee.” Gaara whispered

“I care about you too, Gaara. I have been dreaming of this day since I met you so many months ago. I have been craving your body this close to mine, your heart in my hands, so that I can treasure it and protect you. I do not take it lightly that you are allowing me into your soul. I promise you I will be faithful and I will never treat you with anything but the upmost respect and kindness.” Lee professed his affection to Gaara in such an eloquent way, and there was sincerity in his voice. Gaara smiled. For the first time in his life, he was no longer afraid of being rejected. This time, he was the one who pressed his lips against Lee’s. Everything felt so right.

Choji knocked on the door. “Hey Lee, uh, we need to help set up for the party.” They broke their kiss as Lee looked to the door.

“We will be right down!” He shouted back cheerfully, and looked back at Gaara with a wide grin on his face as he stood the both of them up, taking Gaara’s hands in his. “Come now, dear, the others will be here soon and I simply cannot wait to announce our union of heart, soul, and mind!” Lee squealed, and wrapped Gaara up in a big hug. “This is the greatest day of my entire life!”

Gaara smiled, and the two exited the house, holding hands, and began to set up for the party.


	11. Chapter 11

“I think I like this type of party better.” Gaara laughed as he and Lee tossed back their first shot of the afternoon. As soon as the glass left his lover’s lips, Gaara could see an attractive pink hue spread across his cheeks. Lee smiled wide and grabbed his wrist.

“Come on Gaara, we have to go find the others, we have to tell them everything!” Lee exclaimed, pulling him away from the folding table they were using as a bar. They wove through the crowd of people in the front yard, looking for Naruto and the others. Gaara was simply basking in the glow he felt radiating out of his chest. For the first time in his life, he was someone’s most important person, someone was proud to be seen with him. He couldn’t help but smile as he looked at Lee ahead of him, bounding along with visible excitement. It felt like they were the only people in the world.

This spell was interrupted when Gaara saw a long, blonde ponytail swish by as they made their way past. Gaara did a double take and when he caught sight of the face of the man the hair belonged to, he quickly looked away and started panicking. He had done incredibly well at avoiding people from high school for all of his time at college. This was no easy feat, considering how his looks made him stand out and the simple fact that he went to three different high schools. _Why now?_ He thought to himself. _And why him? Of all people, why him?_

“Naruto! Over here!” Rock Lee’s boisterous yell broke Gaara’s train of thought, and he tried to make himself small. He hoped that they were not drawing too much attention to themselves, but Lee was waving his arms and jumping up and down to signal Naruto, so that probably wasn’t the case. Lee looked back at Gaara with that same, goofy grin spread across his face, but it faltered slightly when he noticed Gaara’s discomfort. He came closer and gently placed his hand on the small of Gaara’s back.

“Hey, you okay?” Lee whispered in Gaara’s ear. Gaara relaxed slightly, and took a deep breath. He had come this far with avoiding unsavory characters from his past, and this time he wasn’t alone. He had friends he could be with, and they would help him blend in and keep his mind out of the dark. Not only that, he had someone with him who really cared about him and seemed to be able to read his emotions like a book. He would be safe if he just stayed with them.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Gaara looked ahead of them and saw Naruto and the whole gang coming up to them. Lee’s smile returned to his face and he rubbed Gaara’s back reassuringly. That gesture, and the happy faces of his friends running to meet them, made him truly believe those words.

“Gaara! Lee! It’s good to see you guys!” Naruto shouted, giving each of them a fist bump.

“Gather around friends, we have something to celebrate today! Gaara and I have decided to start dating! Can you believe it? I’m so happy I could cry!” Lee said, and tears were actually in his eyes. Neji stepped up and gave Lee a firm pat on the shoulder.

“Alright, that’s enough, Drunk Lee. There’s no need for waterworks. Here, we all pitched in and got us something to help with the celebration.” Neji laughed, and Shino handed him two bottles of champagne. Lee wiped his face and took the bottles from Neji.

“How did I get so lucky? Not only do I have a beautiful boyfriend, but also such considerate and supportive friends. I am the most grateful man in the world.” Lee began to sob again, this time pulling everyone in for a group hug.

“Okay, now that’s really enough.” Sasuke groaned as he squirmed out of Lee’s arms. “I got the cups. Lets drink these bad boys before girls start trying to con us out of them.”

The group poured themselves red solo cups of champagne and toasted to the happiness of their two friends. They chatted and laughed, and Gaara felt truly at home. Every once and a while, Lee would wrap his arms around Gaara from behind, giving him little kisses on the top of his head which made him blush and grin. Lee had a very low tolerance for alcohol, however, and after one cup of the champagne it was clear he was already drunk. Gaara wasn’t bothered by this, it just made him more affectionate and talkative, but at one point he did start trying to play soccer with one of the empty bottles on the ground. He slipped and fell on his ass, but just started laughing. Gaara helped him to his feet again.

“Steady now, I’m going to go get you some water.” Gaara chuckled. In response, Lee wrapped his arms around Gaara and gave him a huge kiss on the cheek.

“I’ll miss you! Hurry back!” Lee released Gaara from his grip, and Gaara headed to the bar, as he remembered putting out a jug of water along with the typical beer and jungle juice. The alcohol combined with all the affection he was receiving from Lee was making his head spin, and even in this huge group of people, he felt again like they were in their own world. He was smiling like a fool and stuck in his head as he poured his boyfriend a cup of water. It was so exciting to think that word, boyfriend. He felt like nothing could shatter this high.

“Well, if it isn’t Gerard Way in the flesh. I didn’t know the black parade ran through this campus.” A familiar voice sneered into his words. Gaara froze, almost too panicked to look behind him. The hair on the back of his neck was standing straight up. He gulped, and finally willed his body to turn around. There he was. Deidara. The one person he hoped he would never see again, standing right before him with that vicious smirk on his face.

Deidara went to Gaara’s first high school, and he was known for harassing just about anyone and everyone, but he seemed especially keen on making Gaara suffer. Gaara reeled as the sound of his voice and the look on his face brought him back into that lonely, sad, angry place. He tried to control his temper, and he looked around to see if he could find his friends, or Lee, or someone to anchor him to earth. He really didn’t want to fly off the handle. The last time that happened, he nearly beat Deidara to death, got expelled, and cemented his reputation as a psychotic loner. He took a deep breath and tried to recollect himself. He wasn’t the same person he was at 14. Things were different now.

“Deidara. What do you want?” Gaara choked out. He was trying to stand his ground, but the wavering in his voice gave him away for the real fear he was feeling. Deidara was much taller than he had been in early high school, and he looked stronger too. Gaara was worried that if worst came to worst, he might not be able to rely on his animalistic rage to win. Deidara snickered and took the invocation of his name as an invitation to come closer, and Gaara backed up until he was pressed against the folding table.

“Well, who can resist reconnecting with an old friend? I saw that hideous red hair of yours and I just couldn’t help myself.”

Gaara felt the heat of bloodlust well up in his chest. This man had tortured him for years, since middle school, and just when he thought he was finally rid of that part of himself, here he was again. He wanted to scream and jump on Deidara right then and there, but again he got himself under control. He wasn’t going to let this awful person ruin his day. He closed his eyes and turned away.

“I don’t have anything to say to you. Leave me alone before we both regret it.”

“Now that’s my Gaara! Full of hate for the world and himself. But this is really pathetic, you can’t even face me? Come on.” Deidara grabbed Gaara by the shoulders and spun him around. “We have some unfinished business. Last time we fought I took the worst of it, and I’ll admit that. But I’ve been waiting since that day to see you again and show you what I can really do.”

Gaara shook Deidara’s hands off of him. “I’m not like that anymore. I’m not going to fight you, Deidara.” Deidara pouted at this.

“What’s the matter? You’re tired of fighting? Well, I figured it would end up this way some day. You know what? I’ll make you a deal. I’ll leave you alone.” Deidara started to turn away from Gaara, but hissed over his shoulder “but only if you finish the job, barcode arms.”

Just as Gaara was about to lose his composure and throw a punch, suddenly Deidara was slammed back into the folding table. Gaara looked on in shock, and saw that Rock Lee had one hand around Deidara’s throat, with the other poised to strike.

“How dare you speak to my boyfriend like that?” Rock Lee punched Deidara in the face. Hard. “What gives you the right to talk to anyone like that, huh?” Another punch, this time using the other hand. “Nothing! You’re nothing but a pathetic bug, and I’m going to show you what happens to bugs.” Yet another punch, and then Lee grabbed him by his shirt. Deidara was in a daze. Lee lifted his leg and gave Deidara a swift kick in the gut that sent him flying into the table, knocking it over. Lee walked over and hovered over Deidara, who was in fetal position, nursing a bloody nose.

“If I ever see you within spitting distance of Gaara again, I’ll kill you.” Lee growled.

Deidara looked up and then spit out blood. He looked to Gaara, and forced a smirk to his face.

“I see. You let your big strong boyfriend do all the fighting for you now. I always knew you were a fa-“ Deidara was cut off by Rock Lee lunging on top of him and delivering more blows to his already bloody face. Gaara felt like he was in the middle of a nightmare and a dream all at once. He was glad that Lee was standing up for him, but the sight of Deidara’s blood had him stuck in a gruesome flashback, one where his fists were the ones getting bruised by the bones in Deidara’s face. One where he had finally been pushed to his limit and snapped worse than he ever had before. He felt his body sink onto the grass, eyes squeezed shut.

“Gaara, what happened? Are you okay?” It was Naruto’s voice that woke him up from his panicked state and got him out of his head. He opened his eyes to see Naruto, Shikamaru, and Choji kneeling around him, looking concerned. He looked behind them to see that Sasuke and Shino were huddled around Deidara, who was still conscious but barely, and Kiba and Neji were holding back a flailing Lee, still trying to swing even though he was only hitting air at this point. Sasuke said something to Shino, then got up to leave.

“Gaara, hey!” Shikamaru snapped his fingers in front of Gaara’s face, and he turned his attention back to them. “Did you hit your head or something? Talk to us.”

“I’m- I’m not hurt, I’m fine.” Gaara managed to get out. “Where’s Sasuke going?”

“He said he recognized blondie over there, he’s going to get his brother. Who is that guy anyway? And what did he do to make Lee jump on him like that?” Naruto questioned. Gaara furrowed his brows.

“Not-not here, I- can we get out of here? People are staring and- I can’t be here anymore.” Gaara stuttered, trying to bring himself to his feet. The boys rose with him, and Choji put a hand on his back to support him.

“Let’s go inside, we can go to my room and wait for the others. Come on.” Choji offered.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: this chapter has the f slur mentioned.

Gaara sat down on the couch in Choji and Lee’s room, still wobbly from adrenaline. Naruto sat down next to him, and Choji and Shikamaru settled for sitting on the floor in front of them. It was silent for a few moments as Gaara held his head in his hands, trying to make sense of everything that had just taken place. The silence grew, and Gaara realized they were waiting for him to speak.

“That-that was Deidara. He tormented me for years when we were kids, and he’s the reason I got kicked out of my first high school back when I was a freshman. He was fucking with me and I guess Lee heard him and- well, you know what happened next.” Gaara explained. Shikamaru gave a snort and leaned back onto the TV stand.

“Yeah, that’ll do it. Lee is very protective, and it’s not hard to get him to fight when he’s drunk. Don’t worry about it, the prick deserved what he got.” Shikamaru said idly, but then looked at Gaara intently. “Seriously, don’t sweat it. Any one of us would have backed you up. Maybe not in such a hands-on way, but all the same, he got what was coming to him.”

“What did he say to you, Gaara?” Naruto asked. Gaara looked at him, and could tell that he was trying to disguise the fact that he was fuming. Gaara sighed and rubbed his forearms.

“He wanted me to fight him again. That was what happened in high school, and apparently he wasn’t satisfied that I- well, I wasn’t gentle. I told him that I didn’t fight people anymore, because I don’t, I honestly don’t ever want to fight someone again, I’m not the same angry kid I used to be. Then he told me he’d leave me alone if I- he called me barcode arms and told me to ‘finish the job’.” Gaara got quieter towards the end. Silence filled the room, and Gaara saw Naruto’s expression fill with rage.

“That’s sick. Shikamaru is right. Fuck that guy, I wish I could have got my hands on him too.” Naruto said through gritted teeth. “If I ever see him again, it’s on sight, believe it.”

“No, no, I don’t want you guys to go around knocking his teeth out for me.” Gaara cringed. “Besides, compared to what he used to do to me when we were younger, that was him being nice.” Shikamaru scoffed, and although he and Choji were doing decidedly better at concealing it, with one look at them Gaara could tell they were angry too.

There was a knock on the door, and Sasuke and Shino entered the room. For the two most stoic members of the group, they were both looking pretty fired up. Shino took a seat on a chair next to the couch, and Sasuke sat next to Naruto, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“Itachi is going to kick that bastard out of their fraternity.” Sasuke stated plainly. Naruto smirked at this and leaned into his lover’s embrace.

“Really? He can just do that? That’s awesome!” Naruto exclaimed.

“Well, he has to meet up with the other exec members, but he’s the internal affairs coordinator so his word is pretty much law when it comes to that stuff.” Sasuke shrugged and tilted his head towards Gaara. His expression was much softer and more concerned than Gaara had ever expected possible. “You okay?” Gaara nodded shyly in response. “Good. Kiba and Neji took Lee to settle down, but they should be back soon. Don’t worry, even though he beat that guy to a pulp, Lee shouldn’t get any blowback for this. He was defending you.”

“Besides, any one of us would have done the same.” Shino growled, crossing his arms. “Nobody hurls homophobic slurs at my friends and gets away with it.” Naruto looked at Shino, eyes widened, and his face again filled with anger.

“He called Gaara a- okay, now it’s really on sight.” Naruto huffed, and Sasuke squeezed his shoulders and shook his head.

“Naruto calm down. You too, Shino. Gaara already said he doesn’t want us fighting for him. And as much as it’s true that Deidara is a piece of shit, we have to respect his wishes.” Shikamaru lulled. The boys nodded, still angry but resigned.

“I-I really appreciate all of your support.” Gaara choked out, curling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. He was trying to hold back tears. This is how friends treated each other. He felt so loved and respected, it was more than he had ever expected and almost more than he could handle. Suddenly, a voice rang out from behind the door.

“Hey guys, we’re back, but Lee says he wants to talk to Gaara alone, so everyone clear out.” Kiba called out. The boys looked at each other and Gaara and started to file out the door. Through its opening, Gaara could see Lee with his head on Neji’s shoulder, Neji’s arm wrapped around him. As soon as the rest were gone, Neji looked at Gaara, then nudged Lee out of his embrace.

“Go.” Lee didn’t budge, still hiding his face in Neji’s shoulder. “Lee, go on.” Neji encouraged again, this time lifting the man’s head from his shoulder and gently pushing him into the room. Lee had his head hung, unable to make eye contact with Gaara.

“Just text the group chat if you two want to catch up with us later.” Neji stated, and with that, closed the door and left the two of them alone. Lee sighed, and sat down on the couch next to Gaara.

“I am very sorry for the way I acted. I had just sworn to protect you and I saw how that man was treating you and – I just lost control.” Lee sighed, and finally looked up to meet Gaara’s gaze. Tears started welling up in his eyes the moment he did. “You are just- I do not understand how anyone could be that mean to you. How anyone could not treasure your presence in this world. How could anyone tell you- and call you- it just made me so angry. Still, I should have just gotten you out of there and left him alone. I am truly sorry, Gaara, and I hope you can forgive me.” Lee choked out, reaching for Gaara’s hands and taking them in his own. Gaara closed his eyes and squeezed Lee’s hands.

“Of course, I forgive you, Lee. Honestly, if you hadn’t stepped in when you did, I was about to- I would have done things to him that I’m not proud of. Your presence stopped me from reverting back into my old, bloodthirsty self. You should have seen Deidara when I beat him up four years ago. I didn’t have the decency that you did to leave him conscious.” Gaara chuckled softly, then shook his head to clear that image from his mind. Lee smiled, but then looked at him quizzically.

“So you two had- a history?” Lee questioned. Gaara sighed, and Lee moved him closer, wrapping one arm over his shoulder and resting his other hand on Gaara’s curled up knees.

“Yeah, you could say that. It started in middle school, and every day it was like he found new ways to torture me. It got worse when we got into high school and he learned his new favorite word for me- faggot.” Gaara cringed at the word, and Lee reassuringly rubbed his knee. “It was always faggot this and faggot that and the worst part was when I realized I actually was gay and so everything he was saying to me and about me suddenly became true. Then one day at lunch, he walked by me and knocked my tray on the ground and said ‘lick it up, faggot’. It wasn’t like he hadn’t done that to me before or said things like that before, but I was just done. It had been three years of endless torment and I was just done. I remember being consumed with rage. I remember the school security officers prying me off of him and somebody yelling to call an ambulance. And I remember how good it felt. It felt so cathartic to just beat him near death. I was expelled, and he was in the hospital for a week. In a way, he- he was the beginning of all of my problems with violence. After that, all it took was one stray look to warrant you a punch in the face from me. After the second time I was expelled junior year, I went to therapy. I got into gardening. I came to terms with my sexuality. I managed to graduate and get the fuck away from my hometown. I was really hoping to never see Deidara again. But apparently I’m just not that lucky.” Gaara sighed again and looked at Lee. Lee smiled down on him and placed a kiss on the top of his head.

“Well, not to worry. You have friends now that will do anything to defend you. You have me, who will listen to you and give you comfort.” Lee crooned, and lifted Gaara into his lap. Gaara smiled at this, and nuzzled his head into Lee’s chest.

“Thank you.” Gaara whispered, but then looked up intensely at Lee. “But I don’t want you to get into any more fights with him. It’s not worth it, and when I saw him bleeding I- I was back in a place I didn’t want to be in.”

“Of course, Gaara, I will never do that to you again. I would never want to harm your progress.” Lee replied, and kissed Gaara gently on his lips. “Would you like me to see what the others are up to?” Gaara nodded, and Lee turned to his phone.

**BOYS CHAT BOYS CHAT BOYS CHAT**

_Mar 10, 5:37 PM_

**Green Beast:** Gaara and I are ready to join tonight’s activities friends!

**Dog Breath:** Sweet what’s the move?

**Nart:** Dumbass the move is they’re going to meet us at Ichiraku

**Nart:** We got the big booth

**Daddy Long Legs:** BEEG BOOTH

**Daddy Long Legs:** *Beeg_Yoshi.jpg*

**Kickamaru:** Stop posting pictures of Choji

**Edgy Bitch:** STOP TEXTING IN THE GROUPCHAT WE ARE SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER

**Nart:** Gaara come save me Sasuke is being mean

**Edgy Bitch:** I’m not being mean I’m being CORRECT

**Nart:** GAARAAAAAAAAAAA

Gaara and Lee chuckled over their friend’s messages, and Gaara got out his phone to type a response as they left.

**Cactus Friend** : We will be there soon. Try not to kill each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the image shino sent in the groupchat lol: shorturl.at/qz259


End file.
